Do I look like someone

Before I start I really like to share this quote!

"Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. It is no more or less than faith in action."
- Henry Chester

Anyhow...

Do I look like someone who needs to be protected?

Do I look like someone who wants to be protected?

Do I look so lonely?

Do I look like I am starved for love?

Do I look so fragile with my palid skin that I will fall into a boy's strong arms?

Do I look like I love somebody?

The last one is by far the most pertinent question now. Scrap the rest.

Remember, I once said that The Economist is my boyfriend, in jest, because people started asking me about this lame topic. I have no problems forming close relationships but I don't want a boyfriend because that will require an additional investment of time and emotion, which I am not prepared to give up in place of art, literature, reading, thinking, getting lost in forests, or any other creative pursuit. It is a simple CBA analysis - of course a normative one, which is why I don't see what's wrong with others pursuing their own relationships. Actually, one does not need a guy in tow to see the wonders of the world. To me, finding the right guy who appreciates beautiful and meaningful things as much as I do is a rather uphill task which I will rather leave to serendipity. I can only select a guy by elimation: He must not be shorter than I am, must not club, must not drink or smoke, must not be profligate in his spending, blah blah. But to find the right guy? BAH! Why am I even wasting my time thinking of this topic? Why do people even agonize about it? Do you know that what you want doesn't come to you? SO STOP WANTING OTHER PEOPLE!!!

Now you know the answer to the last question! I don't like anyone because I value my freedom!

The disadvantages of an elite education

Click here to open your squinty Rafflesian eyes.

Although the article is SO one-sided, haven't we heard of the OTHER side - the SELF-AGGRANDIZING side - ad nauseum? "HOME IS WHERE THE RAFFLES IS!" Two months ago I might have murmured something under my breath when I saw that passport. Well it does serve its purpose but the message was sick. Now with this whole applications emo-shit thing buzzing around my head - people scuttling to applying to this elite university and that elite university (I have not been immune to this condition admittedly) and being so secretive - I am increasingly irritated by THE SYSTEM. UGH! This is of course not to condemn all who are in my school, but merely to alert the vast majority - as well as the administration which abets it - to a wider view.

I think H3 economics was one of the few subjects that really opened up my eyes. At the end of last year I asked a very intelligent guy why he did not take H3 Economics, and he told me it was just too difficult to score an 'A'. So he went on to take not one but two H3s that were scorable. Whatever happened to education and ideals? 1 year ago I might have said, "Oh". But what comes out from the recesses of my gut now is a glass-shattering UGH!

In other news, POST A LEVELS FREEDOM!!!

But as Austin profoundly pointed out, "Freedom is BORING". Well, at least in the long run. I currently have a shit load of stuff to do, like clearing LNAT. After all that stuff I can resume existing, doing what I want to do, and THINKING about what I really wish to do. I've been reading Houllebecq, sometimes in the wee hours of the morning, so I think I'll go pick up some French to read the original version. His story of cows, failed computer programmers and the ilk are rather interesting.


Today was a really eventful, exhausting day - both depressing and uplifting.


P.S. My favourite excerpt from the scathing article:

Since the idea of the intellectual emerged in the 18th century, it has had, at its core, a commitment to social transformation. Being an intellectual means thinking your way toward a vision of the good society and then trying to realize that vision by speaking truth to power. It means going into spiritual exile. It means foreswearing your allegiance, in lonely freedom, to God, to country, and to Yale. It takes more than just intellect; it takes imagination and courage. “I am not afraid to make a mistake,” Stephen Dedalus says, “even a great mistake, a lifelong mistake, and perhaps as long as eternity, too.”

Being an intellectual begins with thinking your way outside of your assumptions and the system that enforces them. But students who get into elite schools are precisely the ones who have best learned to work within the system, so it’s almost impossible for them to see outside it, to see that it’s even there.

William Deresiewicz taught English at Yale University from 1998 to 2008.

Pseudo Mandelas

I'm done studying for the day. Till the point where most stuff seems flying above my head. Stolper-Samuelson theorum? Kinda check. Strategic trade theory? Yea, bring it on. Galbraith, Bhagwati... all those great economists. Sometimes I wish there's less emphasis on quoting all these big wigs and instead focus on discussing ideas. A single idea can revolutionize history. Like how Nash presented his initial thesis on Game Theory in less than 2 pages. Oh well, but substance + style is considered the ideal.

All of us taking H3 Economics are now Pseudo Mandelas, locked up in jail... Okay maybe not. Mandela got locked up for 20 over years. My dad likes to repeat that fact, to highlight his... perseverance. We are now waiting for that 3 hour 15 minute catharsis, which is a mere 2 days away. I'm really beginning to resent waiting. But it will soon pass.

I noticed a trend, althought somewhat trivial, in the case study post-mortems that I've read! There is some little So3F power going on. Gerald (on immigration) and Mitchell (who talked of Austrain Praxeology) were from the 09So3Fs of yore, and me (globalization), were all quoted in the post mortems. Mitchell was the cute army guy who visited us earlier in the year. I really like his name. But my name is better, in the so beautifully screwed-up sense.

On to bed time reading - Stiglitz now. Angry Stiglitz. Indignant Stiglitz. HOW CAN THERE BE SOO MUCH INJUSTICE IN THE WORLD??!!! WE NEED TO MANAGE GLOBALIZATION!!!! Possibly Paul Krugman too, I quite like his style of constructing models based on little logical anecdotes.

Do you know that Stiglitz is the highest rated economic academic IN THE WORLD in terms of research output and quality? Krugman ranks 14! I suspect everyone up there is already so significant that rankings don't really matter. Haha, more significantly both are liberals. Maybe I should read some conservative books one day. GOD IS GREAT...? He will take care of the markets? Okay off to bed time reading.

My mother says I'm gonna get retina detachment one day cos almost every night I lie down in bed reading without my spectacles. It's a habit. The government thinks it's a "demerit good" hence all those silly eye exercises and proper reading posture exhortations in primary school. Whatever.

Halfway through H3

Finally finished studying Firms and Efficiency. Oh gosh, H3 is certainly taking longer than I thought. Perhaps it's the stiffeningly hot weather?

And we plod on.

A piece of hot news

Let me tell you a piece of hot (and hilarious) news. Before I move on, I must issue a disclaimer that the following words in all their pixelated glory, represents my opinion. I do not impose false facts onto others.

I dreamt that I won a verbal match with a group of councillors. And I left them stammering and speechless. Now, knowing my tacit nature, why would I want to waste my energy spewing verbiage onto a group of people? It was obviously with justification. I was enjoying my lunch at the canteen alone when group of them sat next to me. If I recall, it was after farewell assembly. They were, of all things, comparing the NUMBER OF LEADERSHIP CERTIFICATES THEY GOT. Oh god. The verbal match started (thankfully without dragging any of my friends into it). I shall not delve into the details.

But this reveals one thing: How much I hate meaningless "honors clubs". What is the point of having this huge bloating bureaucracy issuing certificates of approval on who is to be honored as a leader and who is NOT? Oh yes, you can say that it's a form of recognition, which is itself a meaningful activity if we recognize and celebrate the right people. It is my opinion that the majority are not, because when you've got people walking up on stage with the whole school population snickering, you know that shutting your ears isn't going to change the fact that you've recognized a joker, or to put more harshly, a shameless imbecile, as a "leader".

Even if they were deserving of recognition, the whole bureaucracy recognizing and issuing certificates of approval is extremely laughable, and perhaps a "uniquely Singaporean" - or would I say uniquely Rafflesian - experience. A leader is someone who resides in our hearts, and not on the paper. A leader earns his respect through his deeds and words; such recognition is NOT GIVEN but EARNED. Furthermore, in economics, such an incentive structure creates "rent seeking", a form of inefficiency in which people campaign and inflate their contributions/interests to obtain recognition. Even the angelic are dragged into this business of getting officially recognized, as they stand to lose in a system that values perfunctory recognition.

Now you can contend that I am merely a sour grape for I received only a certificate for my contribution to the Writer's Guild, not as a leader, but as sub-editor, and that the school had not valued my contribution as LawSoc Chairman because it was an SIG. I had previously raised this issue to the school admin for recognising some of the work that we had done as a club officially, for seeing my members contributions, I thought it absolutely unfair that they should be left unseen. How can the very establishment tell me that it doesn't matter, when in fact it does? Perhaps their hands which tick or cross out a potential applicant doesn't connect to their hearts and minds. But we all know that body parts are supposed to connect, unless the person is a dismembered carcass.

Martin Luther King Jr has taught me to cultivate a tough mind and a tender heart, and my tough-mind-in-training tells me that ultimately, only time and experience will reveal the nature of a person. I am hardly sympathetic towards people, who against their claims, are made of all style but no substance. Further, I will not condone an establishment that creates an incentive structure which rewards leadership over the building of a cohesive team. When the hyena grows up to cannibalize that filthy hand which feeds it, I will not shed a tear.

For us who can't stand such stuff going on, we are, pardon the pun, told to sit well in society. I believe I'm not the only one who will stand up.

A good distinguishment

"Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says, 'I value you enough to give you my most precious asset - my time'". Unknown

Why do the Parisians have all the style?

Case in point: Just look at the Agnes B winter collection! It embodies all the Frenchness with modernity and creativity, all the different materials - silk, wool, cashmere, and more - in various combinations.

No silly 'cut holes here and there' like most of our local designers do.

Once again, why do the Parisians have ALL the STYLE? - Distant observation-. I read an article in Newsweek attributing French luxury to the patronage and taste of King Louis -something-. No, it can't, simply, be HIM. I think it's a mix of being bold, being free, being creative, and most importantly, having an identity. I think I'll take a leaf or two from them for Prom. For now, it's studying.